Angst
by edhel-tarien
Summary: Sometimes one must die to achieve happiness. YAOI TyKa oneshot


_**Angst  
**__Authoress: Edhel-tarien _

**Disclaimer: I do not own beyblade or any of its characters.  
****Pairing: TyKa  
****Type: short one-shot **

_Well I decided to write another angst fic called…well…angst. LOL! Hope you guys enjoy. I'll be updating bad boy's chap2 soon too! It's short and sad. Please review and tell me what you think!_

**_Drip. _**I watched the water drop fall as it hit the metal surface mercilessly, my heart plunging down the drain with it._ **Drip**_ I couldn't understand what he was telling me. **_Drip. _**I thought he was trying to get me to open up again. **_Drip. _**Now I'll never be able to tell him… Placing my finger under the taps opening, I watched the water trickle down my finger, across my palm and mixing with my blood. **_Drip. _**It wasn't water that time, nor is that puddle beneath me. **_Drip. _**It never ceased to amaze me blood. So deadly, yet so beautiful. We need it to survive, yet some like myself are eager to let it go. **_Drip. _**He told me that he loved me. I thought it was a cruel joke. But why would he do that to me? What would he say something like that without meaning it?**_ Drip_** Stupid me! Stupid me for being a fool! It's all my fault…if I had listened…if I just was able to tell him… **_Drip._** The patterns are beautiful. The sink is becoming a portal of endless sorrow. How did those cuts get there again? Oh that's right. I did it…I cut those bleeding scars in me. **_Drip. _**I can't escape him…he is everywhere. Why didn't I just listen? Why couldn't of I just tell him how I felt? **_Drip_** **_Drip. _**All my fault… **_Drip. _**All my fault… **_Drip._**

My heart is clenching painfully, why does it hurt? He has ripped me apart for what I have done. No one can save me now… **_Drip. _**It's hit the floor. My body feeling numb and motionless. What's happening to me? What happened to me? **_Drip. _**He did. He did this to me, and I did it to him. My fault…all my fault… **_Drip._** I can't take it back now…to late…far too late… **_Drip_** I laugh coldly, no emotions accompanying it. I don't feel anything…nothing. I have become nothing. I am nothing. **_Drip. _**Should I let myself die? I don't know. I don't want to think anymore. "_Welcome back my taunt and spectre" _my heart states to the darkness. It's spreading again, shredding my wings. **_Drip._** Everything I had fought so hard to achieve is slipping from my grasp. **_Drip. _**All because of you…all because of my stupid emotions that tear through my body when I think of you. All because of the stupid thing called love. All because of the stupid world! I clench my fists as I stare at the wall madly. Fine. Have it your way! **_"I LOVED YOU! HAPPY? SEE ME SUFFER AND KNOW YOU HAVE DONE THIS TO ME! I HATE YOU! HATE YOU!" _**falling…falling down…down… **_Drip. _**I feel myself slipping. Did you hear it? Happy? I am suffering because you are gone. I love you. **_Drip. _**All because of you…how I loathe you…you who had to pop into me life! You who had to be nice

to me! Had to get to know me! Had to steal my heart! Had to make me love you! Had to make me happy by stating it! **"_I HATE YOU!" _**I cry loudly, my ears defend my own scream. Hear that? I hate you! I hate you Tyson Kinomiya! See what you have done to me? **_Drip. _**My heart is torn…I feel so old… **_Drip. _**How did I get like this?

The darkness returns, the taunting resumes, the bitter cry of its triumph echoing through out my heart. **_Drip_** I tried to resurface, but it won't let me this time, not again, not again, not ever. "Welcome back" my mind echoes to the darkness, it taking hold again. **_Drip_** he'll never understand feelings of betrayal, hate, bitterness and loneliness. I will forever be lonely in this world… I thought I had you… **_Drip_** My mind buzzes with chaotic morbid thoughts, images of my childhood flashing again. "Welcome back again" my hearts response "welcome again, welcome back my spectre and taunt".**_ Drip_** Again the blood trickling, takes a liking in my thoughts. All I ever achieved, all I ever believed in, seemingly down the drain alongside my blood.**_ Drip_**

Again I regained the spectres position, crying alone again. **_Drip_** burning tears trickling down my cold cheek…It likes watching me, watching the light slowly fade. **_Drip_** Slowly I had made the journey it must make. One swift cut, one dizzy moment, and all the pain will end eventually. **_Drip _**Cant feel, don't want to think, I'm tried of playing games. "Welcome back" I whispered, tracing the bloods trails. **_Drip_** "Welcome back my spectre and taunt, now to see my end". **_Drip_** the feeling is back again, but not for the same reasons; I'm tired of playing its games.**_ Drip_** Enough for now, it'll watch me forever, until the pain subsides again. **_Drip_** Not for a while, not for a long while, not to the problem is fixed. But deep down I always knew, the problem will never be rid…not unless he comes alive again **_Drip_** "Welcome back" I whispered again, the salty water falling over flesh. "Welcome back my taunt and spectre, welcome back my dearest old friend" **_Drip_** death had always expected me since I was young…now it will witness my end. **_Drip _**Tyson…I love you so much it hurts…when they told me in the hospital room you wouldn't make it I…I cant stand it…I'm going to die with you…**_ Drip_** what is this feeling called again? Angst? I laughed at the irony. How did I get anxiety over you? **_Drip. _**I remember learning that word when I was younger…its defined as "A feeling of anxiety and internal turmoil" **_Drip _**I laughed hollowly again…you where too much some times… **_Drip _**my heart feels like a knife is stabbing it **_Drip _**why did it have to be like this?

Resting my head against the floor, my hair is drenching with blood. I loved you so much…why would you try and kill yourself over me? _"I love you Kai! Can't you see it? SAY SOMETHING TO ME!"_ your words filter through my thoughts…those haunting words of love…_ "Want to hear something Tyson? Well here! IM NOT GAY YOU DISGUSTING PIG! I HATE YOU!"_ I lied…I lied…I've been lying all my life…why did you believe me?...why are you so damn sensitive? **_BANG!_** I glance up at the door wearily; it's too late to save me now... "Kai! Are you okay? Oh my god Kai! DOCTOR! DOCTOR WE NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!" To late Rei…to late…the only person who can save me now is…is him…Tyson…the darkness is slowly taking over…I feel so weak…am I dreaming? Rei…Tell Tyson I love…I love him…

What is this place? What is that beeping? My arms are aching…was it a dream? I slowly open my eyes…their so heavy…"kai…" Tyson? Is that you? "Kai can you hear me?" TYSON! WHERE ARE YOU? I open my eyes to find you there…you hair falling messily around your face…that face I have come to love…your eyes are sad…their lashes sticking together from your tears…are you crying for me? "Why would you do something like that?" he demanded, wiping away his tears…so beautiful…Tyson I…I smile slightly, as I remove the hair from your face. Your so beautiful…why couldn't I have just said it? "I lied" I said, your eyes widening as I brought you closer to me. "I lied when I said I didn't love you…cause I do…" I've said it…I can't believe it…your smiling…that smile that had lightened everything in me. "I love you to" he said, placing his lips on mine. How was it that I was so blessed to have him? What did I do to deserve you Tyson? You placed your head on my chest as the tears roll down your beautiful face. "When you said those things…I couldn't stand it…I had to…" it was hard for you I could tell. I couldn't live without you either. I slip my arm around him; he begins to sob on my chest. I do love you Tyson Kinomiya, and always will. Now to start our happily ever after.

**The end**

Well…yeah, it's very different for me. But I just read a death-fic and its 1:36am, so please excuse its bogginess. I hope you like it and please review!

Edhel


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